Business Networking ? The Man With a Pig Under his Arm : blog ...

Posted by Impact Factory on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 ? Leave a Comment?

By Tina Lamb

If you were to walk into a busy room of Networkers at a Business Event, and there was a man standing there on his own with a small albino pig under his arm, most of us would be able to make contact with him, either asking a question or commenting on his pig. Why is it then, that many people say to me that they find it hard to approach someone standing on their own at an event and engage them in conversation?

It?s not about the pig.

The difference is what we at Impact Factory call ?head stuff?, the stuff you think but don?t say.

Usually, if you are uncomfortable in a networking situation, you will have head stuff along the lines of;
?What am I going to say??
?What if I make a fool of myself??
?What if they dont want to talk to me??
?What if I get stuck with them??
or something similar. These thoughts can sometimes become so overwhelming that they can limit our behaviour and stop us being our normal selves.

Now, all this head stuff could surface in the face of the hypothetical man with a pig under his arm, except in that case we don?t focus on it or allow it to take over. That?s because we?re not thinking about ourselves, we?re instead thinking about the pig. Our minds are occupied with something else, so our thoughts could be along the lines of:

?What?s that man doing with a pig??
?Where did he get it??
?Why has he brought it??
?What?s its name??, or just;
?ahhh, it?s got pink eyes?.
None of these thoughts would interfere with us being ourselves or inhibit our ability to approach people and engage in conversation.

So my advice is not to look for people carrying mammals to approach at a Networking event, but to let go of your head stuff. Worry less about yourself and put your attention on the person you?re looking to approach. Think about what would get them talking and what might put them at ease like you would like to be put at ease. The more you put your attention on other people, the less you will be gripped by unhelpful thoughts leaving you to network smoothly and effortlessly.

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Source: http://blog.impactfactory.com/?p=208

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